Saturday, April 30, 2005
sorrie guys..i alwas update in lyk once a century..
previously net spoil..wan to use oso cannot..haiz..so sian..i'm in the mist of mid yr n yet i can't get myself to do anitink..in fact i dun even noe wad i wanna do..slacking everyday..feeling terrible when i look at my notes..the facts juz can't get into my brain..n i feel so stressed up..mebbe its the aftermath of syf?..i dunno..i feel so unprepared fer my exams while the others all seems so expert liao..ready fer the o's..i feel lyk repeating my yr..or mebbe isolating myself..nt to touch those bks again..sian..
these few days are terrible fer mi..i felt tt there is a barrier between mi n God..i can't hear his voice..i can't feel his presence..i wanna get near him..but each time sumtink juz pull mi away from him..i dunno wad the tink is but i realli hope God could remove it fer mi..tml is the deadline fer the composing of songs..these weeks i alwas wanna compose sumtink..but i felt it ver hard to praise him..i can't feel anitink when i sing to him..it seems as if i'm juz plainly singing songs..
haiz..mebe i'm so stressed tt i need sumone to tok to..but everyone juz seems so buzi..no one is willing to stop n listen to mi..n i feel tt i can't get my mails over..my "postman" is missing..
i tink sum of u haf alreadi notice tt i looked abit troubled yest..yest tt korean tinky..i felt tt my spiritual level is so low..i looked at everyone..they all can get into worship..n sense God's presence..i wanna do the same tink but i couldn't..i can't concentrate..i feel as if i'm putting up n show..even the sermon..i dun even understand wad the pastor is toking abt..tt makes mi even more irritated..i feel so ashame in front of God..tml is my bdae n i dun feel ani excited at all..hope tml will be great..
Posted by phyllis at 4/30/2005 03:14:00 PM